


My loneliness, is killing me

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: High School AU, M/M, domestic AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joonmyun's always been into pretty girls with long hair. But somehow, he ends up finding domestic bliss with a boy named Kim Jongdae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My loneliness, is killing me

Jongdae has always been a sucker for knights in shining armor, and he'll fall for any guy who bestows him with a smile. 

The night he meets Kim Joonmyun, he's at a Jongin's birthday party, which is being held by Delta Lambda Phi, the first officially LGBT-friendly fraternity on campus. 

Jongdae is on the periphery of being drunk, approximately one red Solo cup away from wobbly knees. But it's not quite enough for him to bend and comply to the guy currently grabbing him by the waist and shoving him into the wall. Jongdae's arms are pinned against the cold plaster, and he feels a pair of hips grinding roughly into his. Jongdae tries to cry out, but the sounds are muffled by the stranger's lips on his. 

He tries thrashing around wildly for escape, but the other man's body bears heavily down upon him, preventing Jongdae from moving. In the dark corner of the room, they are hidden from the epileptic strobe lights, and Jongdae's muffled cries are further drowned out by the thumping bass. He feels thick fingers pulling at the waistband of his jeans, and Jongdae recoils from the stranger's touch, pressing himself against the wall. This is something Jongdae has taught himself how to do a long time ago- making himself as small as possible when he's under attack. 

Jongdae squeezes his eyes tightly, and every muscle in his body tenses. But suddenly, Jongdae's wrists are released, and the man's weight is removed from his body. He opens his eyes and sees the stranger being shoved by...a blond guy half his size wearing a flower print button down. 

"Stay away from my boyfriend," the small blond growls, pushing the offender square in the chest. 

Jongdae is grateful when the blond lays a protective arm across his chest to shield him from the predator, who sulks away with a scowl. But Jongdae is also confused because he's never seen this little blond guy in his life. 

"Um, thank you," Jongdae says, and the blond quickly extracts his arm from Jongdae's chest. He pulls him towards a quieter room so they can make proper introductions. 

The stranger nervously runs his fingers through his golden strands and says, "It's no problem...you just looked...uncomfortable. Sorry I, um, called you my boyfriend..." Jongdae waits patiently as the beautiful stranger flounders around for his words. "I'm not sure why I did that. I guess I just wanted to, um, protect you?"

Jongdae chuckles to himself because this guy's logic is too cute. "Don't apologize for that. It's not a bad lie for someone as single as myself to hear." 

For someone who had just brazenly defended Jongdae from harassment, the stranger looks incredibly shy. "Oh, umm... I'm Kim Joonmyun by the way." 

"Kim Jongdae," he says, returning Joonmyun's firm handshake. Joonmyun's lips pull back to reveal a dazzling set of teeth, and Jongdae feels something familiar stir in his stomach. 

Joonmyun isn't sure what to do with himself after their hands part, so he kind of just follows Jongdae around until Jongdae laughingly pushes a drink into his hand. 

It's strange how Joonmyun had been extremely confident in protecting Jongdae, but had appeared rather shy and awkward afterwards. Yet when he smiled, he seemed to be the most self-assured man on the planet. Jongdae can't quite figure him out, but he finds himself drawn to Joonmyun nevertheless. It also helps that Joonmyun is one of the cutest guys Jongdae has seen in a long time. 

"Don't you have friends or something you could be hanging out with right now?" Jongdae asks teasingly. 

"I- um, no. Jongin's the only person I know here." He awkwardly scratches the back of his head again, and Jongdae wishes that he would stop doing that because it's too cute for words. 

"Well, you must be really good friends with Jongin, then, to brave a Delta Lambda Phi party just for him."

"It's fun! I don't mind. And Jongin and I have known each other for a very long time."

"Oh... Well, did you know that Jongin started out his dance career as a ballerina?"

"I do, actually! He's incredibly talented. But you can't imagine what happened this one time a few years ago when he fell asleep at a dance competition."

Joonmyun delves into the story, but Jongdae can't really pay attention to his words. He’s too entranced by the silky rise and fall of Joonmyun’s voice, his musical laugh, the way his eyebrows lift up in amusement at his own joke. It takes Jongdae a beat to realize that Joonmyun has stopped talking and is looking at him expectantly.

“Oh Jongin,” Jongdae sighs in fond exasperation. “That reminds me of the time we were at a friend’s house, and he walked right into the screen door…”

Jongdae’s story probably has nothing to do with Joonmyun’s, but the blond laughs appreciatively and begins to regale another anecdote. It’s nice- they drink and chat for awhile, exchanging stories about the birthday boy. Jongdae wonders how Joonmyun seems to have such extensive knowledge of embarrassing Jongin moments. But he doesn’t ask, because everyone is entitled to their own past, Jongdae supposes

All too soon, Joonmyun is apologizing because he should leave since he has to study for his civil engineering midterm all weekend. Cute and smart, Jongdae thinks, impossibly intrigued. 

The very next morning, Jongdae texts his best friend Baekhyun, who has an uncanny knowledge of everyone on campus. 

_jd:_ TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT KIM JOONMYUN

 _bh:_ what

 _jd:_ BLOND, CUTE, APPROXIMATELY MY SIZE, GOES TO THE ENGINEERING SCHOOL

 _bh:_ ...come over and we’ll talk.

 

“What do you mean he’s not into dick?” Jongdae flops onto Baekhyun’s bed with a whine.

“Look, Jongdae, I know he seems like a great guy and all… But this isn’t a battle you want to fight. I just don’t want you to get hurt, is all.” Baekhyun pats his best friend’s back sympathetically.

“If he’s not gay, what was he doing at Jongin’s birthday party?”

“Not every straight person is a homophobe, Jongdae. And I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the fact that he and Jongin are cousins!”

Jongdae lets out an annoyed huff, because he probably should have seen that one coming. Still, he’s not quite ready to give in to reality just yet. “But- he was wearing a floral pattern shirt with a black mesh overlay!”

“Probably just trying to blend in with the locals. Or dressing himself for the first time in his life, you know how straight boys can be sometimes.”

Letting out an undisguised groan, Jongdae tries to give himself a concussion by smashing his forehead against Baekhyun’s pillow. He’s largely unsuccessful. 

“By the way, Jongdae? How did you even come into contact with Kim Joonmyun in the first place? Especially since you really aren’t his type, no offense.”

Jongdae explains how he had been cornered by the stranger and how Joonmyun had stepped in and saved him from further harassment.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen in concern, but then his forehead wrinkles in consternation as he hears the part about Joonmyun calling Jongdae his “boyfriend.”

“Why did he say that he was your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he felt like it would protect me or something. Some gay code of honor.”

“...That was a little cruel though, don’t you think?”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean for it to be.”

“Whatever you say, Jongdae… I wonder how that creep got in, though. We really need a new bouncer, Kris is way too much of a pushover.”

“I don’t get why you’re complaining, seeing that Kris is loaded, and you’re dating him.”

Baekhyun just grins smugly in response, and Jongdae jabs him in the ribs, smiling in satisfaction at his best friend’s yelp.

 

As an accounting major, Jongdae rarely crosses paths with engineering students, but he’s okay with that because it prevents him from experiencing the pain of encountering Kim Joonmyun again. Except Jongdae is secretly a glutton for emotional pain, and he can’t help but feel a bit of masochistic pleasure when he sees Joonmyun at another Delta Lambda Phi party a few weeks later.

It’s Jongdae’s general rule to not approach people first, especially people he really wants to talk to, which is probably why he’s single most of the time. But thankfully, he happens to lock eyes with Joonmyun from across the room, and soon the engineering major is wading through the crowd to Jongdae’s side.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Jongin isn’t even in town this weekend,” Jongdae says, trying to sound aloof and only politely interested even though that fluttery feeling is creeping back into his stomach.

For some reason, Joonmyun seems flustered by the question. “Um, I didn’t come for Jongin this time...”

“Oh?” Jongdae is trying his best not to scream because if Joonmyun is about to say what Jongdae’s overactive imagination is desperately hoping that he’ll say…

“...I came here for you. You know, in case you need me to fend off sexual predators or anything.” Joonmyun quickly adds. He chuckles nervously, the corner of his mouth tugging down in embarrassment. Jongdae thinks it’s adorable.

“I don’t think you have to worry about any more creeps slipping in. We gave Kris a stern talking to about standing his ground. He almost cried, but I think he's learned his lesson. I appreciate the gesture, though."

Joonmyun smiles tightly, and accidentally crushes the plastic cup in his hand. 

He jumps, startled, when the liquid splashes out, and Jongdae's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Oh! Um, let's go get you another drink, Joonmyun."

The blond smiles gratefully at Jongdae, who wills his heart to stop clenching as he leads Joonmyun by the elbow to where the drinks are. 

Despite the raucousness of the party, Jongdae finds it strangely intimate talking to Joonmyun, who is cozied up next to him on a sofa in the corner of the room. With his mind clouded with alcohol, he's not really sure what they're talking about, but he likes Joonmyun's slow, easy smile and the way it feels when their thighs touch. 

Soon, a catchy song with a dirty sax motif is blasting through the speakers, and Joonmyun is trying to pull up Jongdae by the wrist. 

"Come on, Jongdae, dance with me!"

"I'm awful at dancing, you probably don't wanna..."

"I bet I'm worse!"

"Is that a challenge?" Jongdae laughs, following Joonmyun back to the dance floor, to where they are subsumed into the superorganism's bump and grind. 

Jongdae loses himself in the pulsing rhythm, and Joonmyun is dancing like he's lost, too, but not exactly to the rhythm. He just looks like he's lost. Jongdae can't help himself from placing a hand on the small of Joonmyun's back and another hand on his hip. And suddenly they are face to face, and it's a position entirely too intimate. The shred of self-preservation Jongdae has left tells him to get his hands off immediately, but then he feels Joonmyun's hands on his shoulders, and he can't breathe, let alone extricate himself from the inevitable mess. 

Jongdae is suddenly hyperaware of Joonmyun's every movement, the stutter and roll of his hips beneath Jongdae's hands. He is also aware of the warmth of Joonmyun's breath as he murmurs in Jongdae's ear. 

"Hey, Jongdae, can I..." Joonmyun leans closer, and Jongdae isn't sure if it's a blessing or a curse that Joonmyun will most likely not have any recollection of any of this tomorrow morning. 

Smooth, pink lips press against Jongdae's own, and soon Joonmyun's tongue is probing curiously into his mouth. Jongdae can't bring himself to be upset with Joonmyun for wanting to experiment, even though he knows it will only end up in heartbreak for Jongdae. He knows that he should be trying to keep a wide radius from this dangerous territory, but the feel of Joonmyun against his lips and his hips is worth the unavoidable emotional pain. _Just this once_ , Jongdae tells himself. Just this one night he'll pretend that this is real, and then no more. Not even Jongdae can handle that much pain. 

"Take me home with you," Joonmyun mumbles into his ear. Even through the alcoholic haze, Jongdae recognizes that this is a Bad Idea, but he is unsure of who to ask to chaperone Joonmyun safely back to his own apartment. 

Part of him wants to irrationally blame Joonmyun for being such a lightweight and completely losing all inhibition after only a few drinks. But the sight of Joonmyun curled cutely into a sleepy ball in the middle of Jongdae's mattress somehow makes the mess worth it. It's an image that Jongdae is determined to keep seared into his memory to help alleviate the pain that will inevitably come after tonight. 

No matter what Joonmyun had hoped to do next before passing out on Jongdae's bed, Jongdae is sure that it was simply the alcohol talking. He's also sure that Joonmyun will be alarmed to find himself in a stranger's bed, and that he would be even more freaked out if he woke up with Jongdae next to him. So Jongdae finds himself curled up on his thrift store sofa, wishing that he had just a little more to drink, if only to help the sleep come on a little more easily. 

When Jongdae wakes up to find Joonmyun poking around his fridge with only a pair of boxers on, his first thought is that _he's still_ here, despite having every reason to want to book it out of Jongdae's apartment. His second thought is that Joonmyun looks so domestic it hurts, and it's a sight that Jongdae is aching to get used to. 

"What are you doing?" Jongdae asks, and his stomach does a little flip at the way Joonmyun flinches in surprise. 

"I'm looking for food. Kinda hungry, sorry," is the sheepish response. 

"No, what I mean is what are you doing _here_ ," Jongdae clarifies. 

He really hopes that he's imagining the look of hurt in Joonmyun's eyes. "Umm, do you want me to leave? I- can go..."

"It's okay, you can stay until you're full. Just...please don't make me feel like this is real. Thanks." Jongdae turns on his heel to return to his bathroom, but he can feel Joonmyun's eyes on his back the entire way. 

Maybe it had been too much to hope that Joonmyun would be gone by the time Jongdae finished showering, but he's still sitting there in Jongdae's kitchen when he comes back. Jongdae tries avoiding looking at the pale expanse of bare skin on Joonmyun's abdomen when he coldly points out, "You're still here."

He tries to swallow down his emotions when he hears Joonmyun's inevitable next words, "Hey Jongdae, I'm sorry about what happened last night."

"It's okay, people get drunk, they get curious. Everyone experiments once in awhile." Jongdae tries to sound aloof, but he can't bring himself to make eye contact. 

"Jongdae, you're not just an experiment to me..."

"Please, Joonmyun. No need to apologize. It's okay, I get it. You just wanted to know what kissing a boy was like."

Joonmyun groans, and the sound goes straight to Jongdae's heart because he sounds so pained. "I wish I hadn't been drunk when I did that... Because I didn't want to know what kissing a boy was like. I just wanted to know what kissing you would be like."

Jongdae chooses to ignore this last statement for his own sake, because he's afraid of getting his hopes up. "It's okay. Experiment on me all you want. I understand. Just... please don't let me feel like this is real,” he repeats.

"I thought that you had wanted it too..." is Joonmyun's quiet response. He sounds so scared and confused that for a second, Jongdae wants to believe that Joonmyun has real feelings for him and isn't just trying to apologize for taking advantage of him. 

But then, Joonmyun is getting up and striding over towards Jongdae. Before he can escape, Joonmyun's lips are on his again, and this time Jongdae can't stop himself from returning the kiss. His hands find Joonmyun's hips again of their own accord, and he shivers at the feel of bare skin beneath his palms. 

When Joonmyun pulls away from the kiss, Jongdae makes a pathetic little whimper, because he wasn't ready for it to be over with so soon. Joonmyun grins at him. "I just had to check again. And I was right!" he says triumphantly. "I knew you wanted it too! I was right, wasn't I?"

Jongdae gives a shaky little nod of assent, and Joonmyun asks gently, "If you want this as much as I do, what's the issue then?"

"N-no issue."

Joonmyun smiles again, and Jongdae mentally asks himself what he has just gotten himself into. 

 

Their relationship is a series of variations upon a theme. Jongdae will feel happy with Joonmyun, happier than he thinks he'll ever be allowed to feel. And then that familiar insecurity will creep back again. And then Joonmyun will have to placate his boyfriend, trying to convince him that _yes_ , he loves Jongdae, _yes_ , he loves only Jongdae, and _yes_ , he will continue to always love Jongdae. This pattern of insecurity and assuagement repeats in an endless cycle, and Jongdae knows that it's all his own fault for not bringing this strain upon their relationship. 

But Jongdae can't ward off the creeping suspicion that Joonmyun will eventually get sick of him and dump him after the novelty of being with a boy wears off. This fear persists even after they’ve been together for years, when it's clear that Joonmyun is in it for the long haul. Joonmyun isn’t sure how to show Jongdae that he isn’t just a novelty to him. 

So Joonmyun tries to convince him the only way he knows how- on one knee, with a glittering ring in hand. 

Since they’ve been accustomed to living together for years already, their married life isn’t that much different from life prior to their marriage. It’s another variation upon a theme. Except, now Jongdae has the satisfaction of knowing that Joonmyun is really _his_. He likes knowing that he knows things about Joonmyun that nobody else does, like the fact that Joonmyun really likes walking around their home in just boxers for some reason. Jongdae also likes seeing Joonmyun do things that he knows nobody else has seen or ever will see, like when he catches Joonmyun baking cookies at 5 am on Jongdae's birthday. 

"Joonmyun... What are you doing?" Jongdae asks sleepily when he sees his husband shuffling around the kitchen with only Jongdae's pink apron covering his bare chest. 

"Oh! Um, I'm baking cookies... For your birthday..." Joonmyun admits sheepishly. 

"Can I watch?"

"...It was supposed to be a surprise..."

"Not anymore!" Jongdae laughs, sitting down at the table across from where Joonmyun is mixing flour, sugar, and water with a pair of chopsticks. Joonmyun hesitantly taps an egg against the rim of the metal mixing bowl. When the shell doesn't give, he taps harder, jumping when it cracks. In his surprise, he accidentally drops the entire egg, shell and all, into the bowl. 

"Aw, Joonmyun, it's okay, we can just take the shell back out. Let me get that for you..." Jongdae coos, reaching for the chopsticks. 

"No, no, I got it!" Joonmyun insists. "I do it every time..."

When Jongdae blinks in confusion, his husband explains, "I just get startled when the egg cracks, and I always end up dropping it." He laughs nervously, and Jongdae reaches out to pat his arm fondly. 

The morning passes by relatively accident-free as Jongdae continues to watch Joonmyun bake with an adorable expression of concentration. Once in awhile, Joonmyun's brow will furrow in concern, and Jongdae will reach over and give his arm a squeeze, flashing him an encouraging smile. 

They have fresh-baked cookies for breakfast because they are both responsible adults who are capable of making their own decisions. Joonmyun watches anxiously as he hands Jongdae the first cookie. Jongdae makes appreciative noises when he tastes the sweet, buttery softness, and Joonmyun breaks into a grin. Jongdae doesn't mention that he felt a tiny crunch from a fragment of eggshell. 

It’s that same day, Jongdae’s birthday, that they end up having their first fight- one that sends them both to bed in tight-lipped silence.

 

Despite the state of the art technology he uses to design bridges and highways, Joonmyun is helplessly backwards when it comes to social media. Every text he sends Jongdae is accompanied by a selca because Joonmyun prefers to speak face to face with his husband. Most of Jongdae's photo gallery is comprised of Joonmyun's face wearing various shades of tired. 

When Jongdae receives his daily lunchtime text from his husband, Joonmyun sends him a photo of himself making a cheesy thumbs up pose. 

_Just relax when you get home, because I'm going to make dinner tonight!_ the accompanying text reads. Jongdae smiles because there's a reason why he doesn't let Joonmyun cook, but he is touched by the gesture nonetheless. 

He spends all day thinking about Joonmyun, overwhelmed by the amount of love he feels for his husband and by the sheer miracle of the fact that Joonmyun loves him back. 

In his eagerness and excitement to find out what Joonmyun has planned for him, Jongdae quickly completes his work so he can head home as early as possible. He returns home to an empty apartment, which isn't too much of a surprise because Joonmyun always has an insane workload. Jongdae kind of wishes that he would have taken off a bit earlier, though, since he had promised to cook for Jongdae that night. 

Not used to returning home with nothing to do, Jongdae picks up one of Joonmyun's self help books to read until his husband gets home. He's several chapters in when he feels a few shallow pangs of hunger. The sky is a deep indigo, and it's a bit past the time Joonmyun usually gets home. But he figures that his husband is probably ordering takeout from his favorite restaurant or something. It's a very Joonmyun thing to do. 

He closes the book and lays down on the sofa so he can sleep through the hunger, hoping that he will wake up to his husband and a nice, warm meal. 

When Jongdae wakes up three hours later to an empty apartment bathed in darkness, he doesn't feel panicked. Instead, Jongdae feels a dreadful sense of acceptance because he should know by now that some things are too good to be true. His stomach is growling, so he resigns to boiling a pot of artificial beef ramyun for himself.

He’s quietly eating the bowl of noodles alone in the kitchen and feeling like a lonely college student again, when Joonmyun finally bursts through the door. Jongdae wasn’t sure what he was expecting, since an apology might have been too much to hope for. But he doesn’t ask for an explanation. It’s only when Joonmyun leans in for a sloppy kiss and Jongdae catches a whiff of alcohol that he finally speaks up. 

“Joonmyun...have you been drinking?” he asks carefully.

“What? No, of course not,” Joonmyun tries to deny.

“I- I can smell it on you,” Jongdae points out, scared of what the response might be.

“Oh… Um, we wrapped up a big construction project today, so my boss treated us to dinner.”

“...Okay.” Jongdae looks down at his bowl, letting the steam from the broth warm his face.

“Look, I would have brought you along with us, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable because...Sooyeon was there, and I know how you feel about her.”

Jongdae had felt curiously blank before, but the mention of Joonmyun’s ex is like a punch to the stomach. Sooyeon is everything that Jongdae knows he can’t be- smart, pretty, experienced, and female. Joonmyun’s ideal type. “W-what was she doing there?” he asks, curling his fists under the table so hard that his fingernails dig into his palms.

“She’s my new boss, Jongdae.”

Jongdae doesn’t respond, and Joonmyun sighs in exasperation. “Look, I didn’t tell you earlier because I knew this was how you would respond. You have nothing to feel threatened about, okay?” He wrinkles his nose when he sees what Jongdae is eating. “And while we’re being honest, I also want to say that I wish you would stop your late night ramyun binges. It’s not good for you, Jongdae.”

Jongdae just stares at his husband, speechless. He waits for him to apologize for breaking his promise, but Joonmyun doesn't even mention it. It's as if he had completely forgotten about the fact that they were supposed to spend a special night together for Jongdae's birthday. 

Before Joonmyun makes a retreat to their bedroom, Jongdae finds his voice again. In a moment of petulance, he says, "Sometimes I feel like you don't love me."

Joonmyun freezes in his tracks and turns around to look at Jongdae with shock and anger in his eyes. "Are you serious right now? How could you say that? I love you every second of every minute. I can't believe you would say something so...childish, Jongdae. I love you more than anything, you should know that by now."

Jongdae wants desperately to believe his husband. But Joonmyun's words don't quite reach his eyes, which bore into Jongdae’s, harsh and unforgiving like the sun in the middle of a desert. Nothing like the easy radiance that Jongdae had fallen in love with a few years prior. As he falls asleep that night, the word “childish” is all that echoes in his mind. Jongdae had always wondered when he would wear down the extent of his husband's patience, and it looks like he has now reached it. 

When Joonmyun and Jongdae got married, they had been head over heels in love. But now, Jongdae isn't so sure.

 

The next morning, as they eat breakfast in silence, Joonmyun reaches under the table to hold Jongdae's hand. It makes Jongdae's heart skip a beat because they haven't spontaneously held hands this way in so long. The little gestures of affection were waning as their marriage went on. It’s not quite an apology, but Jongdae will take it. There was one point in time when Jongdae and Joonmyun could have chatted for hours about everything and nothing. But now, Jongdae finds it harder than ever to talk to his husband. 

For one thing, Joonmyun never lets it show or says anything when he is hurt. Jongdae is starting to wonder if Joonmyun is even capable of feeling hurt. The stony blankness in his husband's face is the worst thing for Jongdae to see. They are complete opposites in that regard. Jongdae hides nothing, often to his husband’s ire. But Jongdae is terrified of the way that Joonmyun can completely shut himself off, concealing whatever is going on in his mind. The lack of communication is scary for someone as anxious and overly imaginative as Jongdae.

Now with the knowledge that Joonmyun is in daily contact with Sooyeon, a constant reminder of could-have-beens, Jongdae is as insecure as ever. He knows how much Joonmyun has longed to hold a baby boy or girl with his own bright eyes or brilliant smile. Jongdae sees it in the way that Joonmyun melts into a smile when he sees an infant or toddler at the grocery store or at the public library. He knows that Joonmyun has always wanted to be a father.

For several months, Jongdae covertly researches the ins and outs of adoption. He contemplates the possibility of in vitro fertilization, but that would require a female, and Jongdae isn’t quite comfortable with having another woman so intimately involved. He familiarizes himself with the rules and regulations, the logistics, the risks and benefits of adoption. The process is convoluted and especially difficult for same-sex couples, but in Jongdae’s mind, Joonmyun’s happiness would be worth all the hassle. Once Jongdae is satisfied with his level of knowledge and has even picked out a few potential adoption centers to visit, he carefully probes Joonmyun’s mood every night for an opportunity to bring up the topic. 

One evening, when Joonmyun seems to be in an especially mild mood, Jongdae decides to mention the idea before Joonmyun turns off their bedside lamp for the night. Jongdae crawls into Joonmyun's lap, who automatically puts his chin on Jongdae's shoulder and absentmindedly smoothes back Jongdae's hair. Jongdae leans happily against Joonmyun with a contented sigh because these sweet moments of gentle intimacy have become few and far between. But then Joonmyun is tapping on Jongdae's thigh to make him get up, without even a glance at the hurt in Jongdae's eyes. 

“Joonmyun,” he begins. “I was thinking about something…”

“Hmm?” 

“I-I think that we should adopt.”

“Adopt?” Joonmyun repeats with a slight frown.

“Yeah, like a baby!” Jongdae explains hopefully. 

"Jongdae, I told you, I don't care that you can't give me a kid. Would I have married you if I felt otherwise?"

"I don't know, Joonmyun, I just think it could...help us."

"Help...us..." Joonmyun echoes, but his voice is icy in a way that makes Jongdae's blood run cold. Joonmyun never uses that voice with Jongdae.

“Yeah,” Jongdae whispers meekly.

“I wasn’t aware that there was anything wrong with us,” Joonmyun says coolly. 

“It’s- nevermind, Joonmyun. Forget I said anything.” Jongdae reaches over to turn the light off. 

Usually Jongdae falls asleep with Joonmyun's legs tangled with his. But tonight Joonmyun has tucked himself into a ball on the far end of his side of the bed. Jongdae doesn't chase after him. Instead, he tosses and turns, trying to find a comfortable configuration that won't let his knees knock uncomfortably into each other. He misses having Joonmyun's legs between his. 

Jongdae rolls out of bed in the middle of the night and sees that Joonmyun's side of the bed is empty. He tiptoes to the kitchen, where Joonmyun is sitting at the table, staring blankly ahead. He doesn't turn around when Jongdae coughs lightly, just clutches his glass of red wine a little tighter, his knuckles whitening. Jongdae sits next to him, and they lock eyes for a moment. Jongdae tries to keep his own face as impassive as Joonmyun's, not wanting to break down in front of him again like he has done over the past several months. Minutes tick away in silence, and eventually Joonmyun downs the rest of his wine and leaves without saying a word. Jongdae lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He eventually traces Joonmyun’s steps back to their bedroom. 

When Jongdae gets up in the morning, he must clear away the pile of tissues that has accumulated overnight on the floor by his side of the bed. 

 

Joonmyun doesn't know what to do anymore when he comes home to find Jongdae crying. At first, he had tried to soothe his husband and find out what was making him hurt, but his efforts were largely futile. Jongdae wouldn't talk, so Joonmyun eventually gave up trying to make him open up. 

Jongdae is distracted at work all day. Usually the numbers are friendly and compliant, but Jongdae can't make any sense of anything when all he can think about is the way that Joonmyun's lips had pressed into a thin, white line and the deafening silence between them. It's something that he rarely does since Jongdae hates letting his career bleed into his personal life, but he ends up packing the rest of his work to finish in the comfort of his own study at home. There is no way he would make it home that night if he tried to finish it all at the office at his current pace. 

All Jongdae wants to do is to finish his work before Joonmyun comes home, but he can't concentrate when the numbers are still as uncooperative as ever. He feels the familiar hot prickle of tears behind his eyes, but this time it's due to his pure frustration. And then he's sobbing again because he's failed to keep himself under control and he's failed Joonmyun, again. Because when Joonmyun comes into his study to ask him why he’s crying, Jongdae still can't bring himself to say anything. 

Joonmyun sits next to him in silence for a very long time. Jongdae doesn't look at him, but he knows that Joonmyun's brow is furrowed and the tension in his mouth has returned. Jongdae doesn't need to see Joonmyun's face to know that he looks angry and bewildered. 

"I don't understand you sometimes," are the words that come quietly out of Joonmyun's mouth as he walks out of Jongdae's study. But all Jongdae hears is, "You're stupid and childish and I don't know how to help you anymore."

 

When Jongdae asks for a separation, he isn't sure what he expected Joonmyun's reaction to be. For Joonmyun to beg for him to stay, perhaps. But Joonmyun just quietly acquiesces, and Jongdae knows for sure now that he has to go. He hadn't seriously planned on leaving Joonmyun. He wanted to make the suggestion just to hear Joonmyun fight for him to stay. But the way Joonmyun just lets him go only tells Jongdae that it's the right choice to leave. 

Because Jongdae is a coward and goodbyes are the worst, he packs his bags late into the night and leaves before Joonmyun wakes up in the morning. 

 

For a minute, Jongdae is afraid that the taxi driver has taken him to the wrong address when they pull up into the mile-long driveway of a Neoclassical style mansion. He checks the address scrawled on a napkin with the gold-plated numbers on the mailbox. He's definitely at the right address. He tips the taxi driver and hauls his suitcase up to the palatial front porch. Jongdae is admiring its corinthian columns and the intricately carved ivory frieze above the doorway when he is greeted by a familiar face. 

"Jongdae!"

"Baekhyun!"

Jongdae's best friend practically leaps into his arms, almost toppling him over in the process. 

"Long time no see, Jongdae," Baekhyun says in mock accusation. 

"Too long," Jongdae agrees. 

"Well, come on in!" 

Baekhyun gives Jongdae a tour of the house, or rather, mansion. The interior decor is lavish to the point of tackiness, which Jongdae finds unsurprising since Baekhyun was never exactly known for his tastefulness. But Jongdae is impressed nonetheless. 

"I must say, Baekhyun, you had me worried for awhile back when we were undergrads. But it looks like you've been doing okay," Jongdae teases. It's only half a joke though, because Baekhyun had barely managed to scrape together enough credits for an economics degree, graduating just by the skin of his teeth. 

"Ha ha, very funny. You know, I've learned that there are some things that can get you farther than a college degree can. Like my sparkling personality." Baekhyun flashes his most ingratiating grin, and Jongdae jabs him between the ribs. 

“So, what have you been up to these days?” Jongdae asks because he’s genuinely curious about Baekhyun’s apparent windfall.

“Well, I started that company that I told you about in college. Remember, the one you always teased me about?”

“Wait- seriously?” Jongdae is surprised that Baekhyun’s dreams have panned out because that’s not an idea Jongdae is exactly familiar with.

“Yep! Basically, I connect projects and charities that need money with companies and individuals who are looking to invest.”

“So basically…you’re a glorified matchmaker.”

“Um, excuse you. I am the CEO of a wildly popular startup company. I help forge connections on a global scale.”

“Matchmaker,” Jongdae repeats with a grin.

“Oh, hush,” Baekhyun says with an eyeroll.

Just then, the front door swings open again.

“Baek, I’m home!” a deep voice calls out, but Jongdae doesn’t recognize it as Kris’s. 

Jongdae is suddenly face to face with a tall, elf-eared man with a cute, boyish face, eyes round in surprise. 

“You must be Jongdae!” the man greets him enthusiastically. Jongdae returns his handshake hesitantly because the guy is approximately twice his size.

“Ah, sorry boys, I’m getting a call from Tokyo. Chanyeol, introduce yourself. Jongdae, make yourself at home,” Baekhyun announces, bossy as ever. He struts off, yapping away at his phone the same way that Jongdae remembers from when they were best friends in college. 

“I’m Park Chanyeol,” the giant introduces himself shyly. He’s cute. Jongdae can see why Baekhyun keeps him around.

“So, Chanyeol, what do you do for a living?” Jongdae asks. He’s always been a bit awkward about ice breakers.

“I teach kindergarteners!” Chanyeol responds brightly.

This takes Jongdae by surprise. He assumed that Chanyeol would be some high-ranking businessman or something, since Baekhyun has always gone for people with the best connections. It seems that Baekhyun, too, has grown up. “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you meet Baekhyun?” Jongdae asks with genuine curiosity. 

Chanyeol scrunches his face a bit as he ponders the question. “To be honest, I don’t really know how we met each other. It was more like...he found me, I guess.”

Jongdae nods understandingly. Baekhyun has always had a knack for finding people. It only makes sense that he’s made a career out of helping people find each other. 

When Chanyeol is in the shower after dinner that night, Jongdae can't help but corner Baekhyun and ask, "What happened to Kris?" He realizes that it's probably a sensitive topic for Baekhyun, but they were best friends at some point who shared everything with each other. 

"Ah, I'm not really sure to be honest," Baekhyun admits. "I thought that things were going well for us, I really did. And then out of nowhere he tells me that he has to go back to China."

Jongdae reaches for his arm to give Baekhyun a comforting squeeze. "I'm so sorry...is he okay?"

"I'm sure he's doing fine," Baekhyun laughs uneasily. "I tried keeping in touch with him for awhile. But I just had too many questions and not enough answers. I eventually had to let go, you know?"

Jongdae knows the feeling all too well and pulls Baekhyun in for a close hug. 

 

Being the third wheel isn't as awkward as Jongdae had expected at first. Chanyeol was easy to get along with, and so the three of them fell into an easy routine, taking turns cooking and cleaning. But somehow Baekhyun manages to shirk his cooking duties, and so Chanyeol and Jongdae end up making dinner every night. They don't mind though, because both Chanyeol and Jongdae are excellent cooks, both having been raised in households full of women. 

Soon the party of three becomes four when Baekhyun invites another one of his "finds" into his mansion. 

As Baekhyun shows Kyungsoo around their home, Jongdae can't help but ask Chanyeol, "Does he do this often?"

"Do what often?" Chanyeol asks, slightly confused. 

"Invite people to stay with him," Jongdae elaborates. 

"Well, it's a big house," Chanyeol laughs. "And he is into charity work after all. Not that he thinks of you as a charity case, of course," he quickly appends. "Sorry, I don't mean to offend you, we love having you here, Jongdae."

"None taken," Jongdae says airily. He should have known that they thought of him as nothing more than a charity case. 

But Chanyeol isn't quite convinced. "Look, Baekhyun just really likes helping others, okay? Because that's just the kind of guy he is. He's not helping you out of some sense of charity. He's built an entire career out of helping people help each other, and most importantly, help themselves. He knows that you're in a tough spot right now, and he just wants to help you get through it, okay? Please don't think that he's doing this just because he feels sorry for you." 

Jongdae smiles at Chanyeol, and it's genuine this time because the giant's words have actually managed to lift a heaviness in his heart. 

At dinner, Baekhyun officially introduces Kyungsoo and Jongdae to each other. It turns out that Kyungsoo actually works in Jongdae's office complex, just for a different company. 

"But you guys do really similar things, because Kyungsoo's an accountant as well!" Baekhyun points out. 

"Secretary, actually," Kyungsoo corrects. 

"Same difference," Baekhyun grins. "Anyways, I invited Kyungsoo over for this weekend since Chanyeol and I have a little getaway planned for the next few days. Didn't want you to get too lonely, Jongdae!"

"...Thanks, Baekhyun," Jongdae says, with a nervous glance towards Kyungsoo, who is poking at his food with his chopsticks, eyes glued to the table. 

After dinner, Baekhyun pulls Jongdae aside to say, "Look, I know that Kyungsoo seems to be a little...scary, to be honest. But he's a total sweetheart once you get to know him!"

"What are you trying to do, Baekhyun?" Jongdae asks hesitantly, but he thinks that he already knows the answer. 

"Jongdae, it's breaking my heart to see you so sad and lonely all the time. I just thought you might want to spend the weekend with someone, get to know someone new. Something may come of it, you never know. You and Kyungsoo are actually pretty similar, to be honest. I'm sure you guys will get along well."

It's been several months since Jongdae moved in with Baekhyun and Chanyeol. He should have known by now that they would want him to start living his own life again. He appreciates how Baekhyun had found Kyungsoo for him, the seemingly perfect match. 

But as excellent as Baekhyun is when it comes to forging business deals, personal connections are a completely different matter. It soon becomes clear that neither Jongdae nor Kyungsoo are interested in each other, not in that way, at least. 

After sharing a few laughs about relatable office incidents and other work-oriented experiences, Jongdae soon finds that he has really nothing to talk to Kyungsoo about. At first, Jongdae really wanted himself to want Kyungsoo. The secretary seemed to be everything Jongdae needed with his steady, mild-mannered personality. But after getting to know Kyungsoo even more, it's clear that they want completely different things. 

Even though Kyungsoo seems like a safe option, bland even, Jongdae soon discovers that Kyungsoo actually craves a life of glamor, excitement. Not necessarily for himself, but he's always had a fascination with performers, after his own attempts to be a professional singer fell short. 

With a little more prying, Jongdae discovers that Kyungsoo had been harboring an unrequited crush on a certain ballerina who had been the star of the most recent local performance of _Swan Lake_ , with his heartbreaking portrayal of Prince Siegfried. 

"I've seen every performance of _Swan Lake_ ," Kyungsoo gushes. "I sat through the five hour ballet fourteen times just to see him. I just wish that I could tell him how much he means to me."

"Have you ever tried talking to him?" Jongdae asks gently. "Don't the performers come out afterwards to greet audience members and stuff?"

"Yeah," Kyungsoo sighs. "But Jongin always has such a huge crowd around him after every performance. And...I don't know, I don't want to be just another face in the crowd."

"Jongin?" Jongdae asks incredulously. "Kim Jongin?"

"Yep! Have you heard of him?"

Jongdae almost laughs at the irony because it was indirectly Jongin's fault that he was sitting here, talking to Kyungsoo to begin with. At least, it was because of Jongin's birthday party that he had even come into contact with Joonmyun in the first place. 

"Jongin was one of my best friends in college," Jongdae explains. He can't help but smile at the way Kyungsoo's eyes have expanded to the size of saucers. 

"R-really? Do you think you can introduce me to him?"

"Here, let me give you his number!" Jongdae offers happily, laughing at the way Kyungsoo has started clapping his hands on his own cheeks in his excitement. Baekhyun was right, Kyungsoo is a total sweetheart. 

 

When Baekhyun and Chanyeol return home from their little getaway, Chanyeol seems to be limping slightly, but neither of them offer an explanation, so Jongdae doesn't ask. Kyungsoo leaves after giving Jongdae a warm hug goodbye and thanking Baekhyun profusely for introducing them to each other. 

Baekhyun flashes Jongdae a smug grin after closing the door behind Kyungsoo. "I knew you guys would hit it off!" he says triumphantly. 

"Not to burst your bubble, Baekhyun, but even though we did make a connection, it's probably not what you had in mind." 

He explains what had transpired over the weekend between them, and Baekhyun's face falls. "Oh- I'm sorry. Things might not have quite worked out this time, but not to worry, I have plenty of other potential matches up my sleeve... How's your Chinese?"

"Look, Baekhyun, I appreciate what you tried to do for Kyungsoo and me, I really do. Kyungsoo is going to look for his own happy ending, and I've realized that I need to return home for mine."

"Wait, you don't mean..." Baekhyun's eyes widen in disbelief. 

"Yep! Talking to Kyungsoo has made me realize that no matter how 'perfect' someone else might be for me, there's only one person who I'll ever truly be happy with."

"Oh, Jongdae," Baekhyun sighs, giving him a warm hug. "Make me proud, okay?"

"I'll try," Jongdae grins. 

 

Now that Jongdae finally feels ready to approach Joonmyun about moving back in, he carries himself with a confidence that he hasn't felt in a very long time. He believes now that, as long as Joonmyun is also willing, he is ready to do whatever it takes to mend their relationship.

Jongdae decides to visit Joonmyun's office at exactly three o'clock in the afternoon because he knows for a fact that it's the slowest point in Joonmyun's day. Everyday, Joonmyun used to slip away to the bathroom at three o’clock on the dot to call Jongdae, and they would whisper and giggle with each other on the phone like a couple of clandestine teenagers skipping class. 

When Jongdae arrives at Joonmyun's office, he doesn't bother checking in with the secretary because he wants his appearance to be a surprise. But he soon discovers that Joonmyun clearly isn't expecting anyone. His office door is left slightly ajar, and all Jongdae needs to do is to nudge it open for a full view of Joonmyun in the arms of a long-haired brunette. 

Jongdae stands in the doorway, frozen in shock, until Joonmyun lifts his head from her shoulder and mumbles, "Thanks Sooyeon." She giggles and pecks him with a kiss on the middle of his forehead. Joonmyun flashes her an easy grin in return. It's Jongdae's favorite smile, one that he hasn't seen in entirely too long. The one that used to be reserved for Jongdae alone. 

Waves of anger and nausea crash against each other in Jongdae's stomach as he slams the door and staggers away from Joonmyun's office. When he hears the door open and Joonmyun shout after him, Jongdae starts running, away from Joonmyun's office, down the staircase of the building complex, and out through the front entrance. Jongdae just keeps running until his legs almost give out beneath him. He comes to a halt with shaky legs and wobbly knees, finally glancing back behind him. Joonmyun is nowhere in sight. 

But Jongdae also has no idea where he is now or how to get home, so he ducks into a nearby cafe to call Baekhyun. 

"Jongdae? How did it go?"

"I-" Jongdae tries to speak, but he can't find the air. He lets out a shuddering sob. 

"Oh my god Jongdae, are you okay? Do you need someone to come get you? Where are you?"

Jongdae has to take a moment to just focus on breathing, in and out, before he can find his voice again to tell Baekhyun the name of the cafe he's currently huddled in. 

"Got it Jongdae, I'll call a driver to come right over and take you home." Home meaning Baekhyun's mansion, the only place that has felt truly like home to Jongdae for over a year.

Jongdae watches the world pass by in a blur while sitting in the silence of the black Cadillac sent to retrieve him. His doubts and fears are replaced by a steely sense of resolution. The slippery ground he had been standing on is now dry and hardened with resolve. 

Baekhyun doesn't ask what happened, for which Jongdae is internally grateful. When Jongdae asks him if he knows any divorce lawyers, he just blinks and replies, "Let me check my connections."

After several meetings with the lawyer, Jongdae is only one signature away from separating from Joonmyun for good. He just needs to get his husband to sign the papers for the arrangement to be official. Jongdae doesn't think it will be difficult to convince Joonmyun after seeing how happy he looked in Sooyeon's arms. 

Jongdae can't bear stepping back into their old apartment to confront Joonmyun, because it holds too many memories from when they were in a simpler time, happy together. It's a place with too much history that he doesn't want to be reminded of. He doesn't care if he walks in on Joonmyun and Sooyeon again, he's not going to let it hurt him anymore. 

He tells his lawyer to wait outside for a minute while he informs Joonmyun about his decision. But as he approaches Joonmyun's office with a stack of legal documents in hand, Jongdae hears muted sniffles from inside of the room. Jongdae quietly opens the door to peek inside. Joonmyun is curled up in his chair with his back to the door, his head in his hands and his shoulders softly shaking. He doesn't lift up his head even as Jongdae steps in and shuts the door behind him. 

"Jongdae," Joonmyun sobs. "Jongdae, Jongdae."

Jongdae's heart skips a beat because he thinks that Joonmyun has seen him. He is about to flee because Joonmyun never lets him see him cry, and he doesn't want Joonmyun to get even more upset. But Joonmyun still has his back to Jongdae and is tucking his legs closer to his body, still repeating Jongdae's name. Jongdae can't help himself anymore, he strides over to Joonmyun's chair and wraps his arms around him. 

"Shh, it's okay, I'm here," Jongdae murmurs into his hair, desperately hoping that he is making the right decision. 

Thankfully, Joonmyun melts into his arms, sobbing softly into Jongdae's shoulder. Jongdae has never seen Joonmyun like this before, and it's kind of terrifying. He sets the divorce papers down on Joonmyun's desk so he can rub circles into Joonmyun's back and comb his fingers through his hair, which has returned to a more natural-looking dark chocolate color. 

When Joonmyun has calmed down enough to breathe again, Jongdae asks quietly, "Has this been happening a lot?"

"Everyday since you left," is the shaky response. 

Jongdae isn't sure what to say, so he just hums quietly, while Joonmyun continues to bury his face into his shoulder. 

Eventually Joonmyun lifts his head to ask, "What are you doing here, Jongdae?"

"I-" Jongdae's words choke in his throat. Without thinking, he glances at Joonmyun's desk. Joonmyun's eyes follow Jongdae's, his gaze falling on the divorce papers placed on the mahogany surface. When he sees the name of the divorce lawyer embossed on the folder, Joonmyun lets out a strangled cry. He glances back at Jongdae, his eyes wide with unadulterated panic. 

"A-are you sure?" he asks with a soft, quavering voice that sends Jongdae's heart plummeting straight down to his stomach. 

In some ways, this is all the childish, vindictive side of Jongdae has wanted to see, that any of this has even affected Joonmyun. Before, the unreasonable part of Jongdae's brain had interpreted Joonmyun's lack of expression as apathy and impassiveness. This is the first time Joonmyun has laid his feelings bare and unmistakable for Jongdae to see, and it's chilling. 

"I- forget about it. Take me home tonight?" Jongdae asks with a rakish smile even though his heart is falling to pieces. 

"And every night after," Joonmyun promises with a tearful smile. Jongdae leans in for a gentle, chaste kiss. He realizes that the smile on Joonmyun's lips was all he really needed to see. 

Jongdae grins back and takes Joonmyun's hands in his. He glances down at Joonmyun's left hand and lets out a short, sharp exhale. On Joonmyun's ring finger are two wedding bands stacked against each other. Jongdae had left his own behind when he left Joonmyun behind all those months ago. 

Joonmyun works Jongdae's band off his own finger and asks, "Do you want us to try this again? And try to get things right this time?"

"I do," Jongdae breathes, and Joonmyun slips the ring onto Jongdae's finger, back to where it belongs. 

 

They end up spending the rest of the afternoon, evening, and most of the next morning in their apartment. In fact, they stay in their bedroom for the better part of about 18 hours, leaving only for the essentials. Eventually Jongdae peels himself out of bed and takes a shower because he feels gross and needs to retrieve his stuff from Baekhyun's mansion. All of his clothes are at Baekhyun's, so he has to dig through Joonmyun's closet for something to wear. His husband is awake by the time he emerges from the bathroom, but he's still laying in bed, acting as the lazy one for once. Joonmyun watches Jongdae get dressed, his head propped up by his elbow and a lazy grin curving his lips. 

"What are you smiling about?" Jongdae demands teasingly. 

"Nothing. I just missed this."

"Oh hush. I'll make out with you again once you brush your teeth."

 

Jongdae spends the rest of the morning and a large chunk of the afternoon at Baekhyun's mansion gathering up all of his belongings, which have somehow ended up scattered throughout the many rooms over the past several months. Before Jongdae leaves with his suitcases in hand, Baekhyun pulls him close for a bear hug. 

"As much as Yeol and I liked having you around, I'm really glad to see that you and Joonmyun are trying to work things out now."

"Don't try to spare me my feelings, Baekhyun, I know you've wanted me out of your hair for awhile now. You tried to set me up with Kyungsoo, remember?"

As Jongdae lugs his suitcases into his car, Baekhyun grins sheepishly and calls out, "Hey, I was just helping you build a connection!" 

Jongdae waves back through the window as he pulls out of the driveway. 

 

Joonmyun is sitting on the sofa when Jongdae gets home, enthusiastically tickling a little bundle of black fur. 

"Joonmyun?" Jongdae asks. "Is that a-"

"Puppy!" Joonmyun exclaims brightly. "I got him from the animal shelter."

"Oh... That's wonderful, Joonmyun..." Jongdae is still somewhat in shock at the sight of Joonmyun playing with the puppy, because it's the youngest he has seen Joonmyun look in a long time. 

Joonmyun giggles when the pug's pink tongue flicks the tip of his nose. "I didn't think we would have the time or responsibility for raising an actual human being... But this little guy seems like he could be a lot of fun! What should we name him?"

Jongdae thinks for a moment and says, "Jundae" at the same time Joonmyun says, "Suchen."

"What?" Jongdae asks, sending his husband a strange look. 

Joonmyun laughs nervously. "Ah, how about we call him Tea Cake?"

"What's a Tea Cake?" Jongdae asks with a puzzled frown. 

"I'm not sure," Joonmyun admits. 

Jongdae smiles in fond exasperation, and lifts Tea Cake away from Joonmyun to nuzzle the tip of his nose into the underside of the puppy's belly. 

Joonmyun hugs Jongdae from behind, pressing his cheek against Jongdae's. "You know I love you, right? I love you every minute of every day with every piece of me."

"I know. Just sometimes, I forget."

"Please remember, Jongdae. Please, please, always remember."

Joonmyun is trembling, and Jongdae feels a hot tear trickle down his cheek that isn't his own. 

"Don't worry, Joonmyun. I won't be forgetting again anytime soon."

And he doesn't forget, especially with Joonmyun there to always remind him. This time, Jongdae always listens.


End file.
